Change

I’ve done this before. Packed up my worldly belongings into a suitcase and moved miles away from home. I’ve left friends and relatives behind numerous times. Yet, it has never gotten easier to get up and move.

Change is a necessity in life, and I have a slight aversion to it. Change excites me, and I crave it, however when it is knocking on my door, I shut it close and hide in the corner. I am currently having a love/hate relationship with the impending move. Especially since it’s now been moved up, and will happen way sooner than anticipated.

I don’t want to leave my parents, brother and friends behind. I don’t want to move somewhere, where I will be completely alone with no one to talk to. I have begun to over-think and over-analyze everything, including what will I do if something were to happen to my family. My greatest fear is being helpless when they need me. I know that I can always hop on a flight and be home in a matter of 2 hours, or get in my car and drive back (13 hours). But I don’t want to leave. I just don’t.

Change is knocking on the door. Opportunity is ringing the bell. And I’m cowering in my corner, with the blanket over my head hoping that they’ll forget I’m here and will go away.