8 Fears

 

Sometimes life takes you by surprise, and this month is taking me by surprise for sure. I can’t believe that today is the 18th of July! Holy COW where does time go?

I have another full week in AZ and then off to Denver I go. In fact two Wednesday’s from now, I’ll be either in Colorado or very close to being in Colorado. It all depends on the driving and the dog.

Keeping up with my 10 Days of me Challenge, here are 8 of my greatest fears.

1. Losing my husband or anyone else I love. None of us are immortal. BUT boy do I wish we could all be vampires and sparkle and live on forever. How cool would that be? I have a very real and at the same time irrational fear of losing someone close to me, including Lilly the dog. I sometimes will try to imagine my life without them, and will randomly start crying. It’s that bad.

2. Cancer. I’m not so much afraid of dying as I am of cancer. I fear it above all other deadly illnesses. You would think I’d be better about getting annual check ups and such with this fear of mine, however I’m even more afraid of someone telling me that there is something wrong with me or my test results are abnormal.

3. Spiders and anything else that crawls, creeps, slithers and so on. HATE them. We kept finding black widows in our back yard and front porch and I swear I was having nightmares about waking up to one dangling above my head. ARGH

4. Disappointing/Letting down people. I don’t know if this is really a fear, but I hate it. I know sometimes I end up doing it anyways, but I simply can’t stand it. I like to make people happy.

5.  Losing my wedding ring. I know I’ve talked about getting a new ring, and how when we got mine, it’s really all we could afford and so on. BUT I do love my ring for what it stands, and what it means to me. I’d never trade it in for another ring (as in I would not get rid of it, I’d just wear it on my right hand or something). BUT I have a fear of losing it. For example, I usually leave it at home if I’m going to be lifting weighs, and every time I look down at my hand I am terrified that I lost it.

6. Car accidents scare the living daylight out of me. When I see one, I always start to visual how it happened and then start thinking of what one had to do, then start putting myself in that position. And then I have to distract myself by something else otherwise I’ll probably end up in an accident myself.

7. Sick babies. I am terrified that my children will be born with disabilities or deformations. AND I know this is going to get me some hate mail, BUT if I knew that my child would have disabilities/deformations/life threatening illnesses, I would abort my pregnancy (if I still had the chance). I feel very strongly about bring a child into this world who would not have the same quality of life as a healthy baby.

JUST A NOTE this is my personal opinion, my personal choice, and my body. My husband feels the same exact way, so please don’t preach to me how wrong it is. If you don’t agree, then lets just agree to disagree.

8. Not being good enough. This goes in all aspects of my life. I’m afraid that I may not be a good enough daughter, granddaughter, wife, friend, sister, dog mom and future mom. I am afraid that I am not a good enough employee, and a co-worker. Or that I’m not a good enough student or a photographer and so on.

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There you have it. My 8 greatest fears.

What are you afraid of? How do you cope with these fears?